Future? Directions?

The summer is almost over,
when i looked back at what i did for the last few months,
i am kinda amazed how so many things can happen in just a short 3 or 4 months...
Had to organize the City Mosaic Event, got stranded in the fishing boat during a thunderstorm,
the theme program in the Get it Right Camp...
(Hope i will write a summary of each event when i have time...
which they do deserve a blog in their own right)

Now that it is all finally over..
i have a couple of days off to rest at home..
which i didn't really do much except slept, sleep, and sleeping till noon..
eat a bit, watch a movie.. and sleep again...
just feels really exhausted after everything is over..

But what's next??
What should i do about the future?

I was reading a blog from shiuto.net.. "Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish"
a speech by Steve Job, the founder of Apple..
He was a college drop out..
just sat in at classes in college, where he learned calligraphy..
none of it have even a hope to have practical application in his life at the time..
But helped him to make the best typography 10 yrs later for the first Apple computer...
Then he said,


"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.
So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.
You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.
This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."

I guess it means that we sometimes get lost in life,
don't understand what we are doing today,
but just need to have trust in God, hold on to God's words,
that He will provide wherever you go..
he is in control..and He is connecting the dots for you...

Then Jobs go on about his career..
He was fired by Apple when he was 30...
Can you picture what it feels like..
to be rejected by the company that you have build??
It must have be so devasting...
But he did not lose his faith..just found another path of the work that he loves to do..
and started NexT and Pixar..which made the first computer animated film, Toy Story...


"Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith.
I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did.
You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers.
Your work is going to fill a large part of your life,
and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work.
And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.
If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle.
As with all matters of the heart, you'll know,when you find it.
And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on."


Looking back at my own situation..
What do i love?

Surely not my bank job.. i really hated its repetitive nature and having no impact on ppl..
looking at the numbers day and night...

I love movies, love how the media can become a platform to touch ppl's heart,
how it can interact with audience and how it can influence ppl...

I love (like?) what i am doing in Across right now..
i am really touched when i see the youth that joined our event..
how their behaviors are changed, how their lives are touched by mentors in Across..
and in some ways... touched by God...



Finally, Steve Jobs wrote about death,


"If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?"
And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something."

All external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure -
these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.
Remembering that you are going to die
is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.
You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there.
And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it.
And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life.
It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.


Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.
Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking.
Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice.
And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."


I always asked myself the same thing..
if i were to die today, do i regret on what i have accomplished in my life?
is there anything missing?
Am i satisifed with myself?

I remembered what Ken said, after the City Mosaic event..
quoting from Gabriel from AFC..
"Life is too short to be Ordinary"...

We need to step out of our comfort zone...
and let God guide our paths..
then..
10 yrs later..
we can see how all the dots connected together..

&@*($^(%^@&$)^(*%^&#%&)@&(

I am so angry...
Why do people need to be so nosey and get into your relationships?
and to say that i am really passive and not trying to improve the relationship?

i mean is it any of YOUR business?
i really hate it when people think they knows everything and then teaches YOU how you should be acting and treating your gf? No thank you Ms. Love expert...
they are all on one side and need to protect their "sister"
I mean, every relationship is like Rashmon, each has their side of the story,
if you don't know what really did happen, plz don't give comments...
if i needed advice, i will ask for it...
Thank you every much...

Cirque Du Soleil

i went to see Cirque Du Soleil with Ceci and her father...
it had been yrs since i last went to see a circus...
the memory that i have with a circus is that it stinks from different animals..
have to be struck in a really hot and humid tent to watch clowns and ppl flying around...


The experience that i have last nite really open my eyes and see how the contemporary circus have changed..
The stage was setup in the middle of the tent,
with the audience sitting on both sides..
which made it really easy for ppl to see...
the music is really enjoyable..with live performances...
the costumes designs are really beautiful, all hand made...
no live animals, all the acts are combine together in an somewhat thin storyline...
because it is mostly in French, so don't really what they are saying...
i really love how the music is co-ordination with the action on stage..
but it is mostly just gymnastic, nothing really "dangerous"...
a lot of guys just fly around on even bars and jump around doing flip flops...
maybe they are the ones that weren't able to make the national teams
so they have to join the circus to make a living with what they know best...

When i am watching the show, a question just popped up my mind..
when did they choose to become a member of the circus..
what makes them want to join this life?
i mean.. u don't wake up one day and decide to hit the road like the movies...


so i looked them up on the web...Cirque Du Soleil

The founder of the circus Guy Laliberte
he was a streetkid when he was young,
and inspired by a music concert in New Orleans..
which led him to begin his dream to travel and entertain...

he got together a group of street performers in Montreal...
which later becomes the Cirque Du Soleil..
he chose the name by the sun itself to represent youth, energy, power and light.
His goal was to bring together creative talent around the world and brings live performances into a new level..

so now that he is successful, he is willing to give back to the community..
he is donating 1% of the annual profits of the circus to Oxfam...
helping people living in poverty around the world...
I love how he is able to be so brave, so passionate to follow his dream..
and not forgetting about those that are less fortunate..

i hope that i will be able to find my own goal and be able to follow it though like Laliberte did..
creating something so great and entertaining..
also giving back to the community..

Bad habits

I was invited to help teach in the children' Sunday School in my church..
even though i don't have that much interest in teaching them..
i went anywayz as an observer before i make my decision..

The class that i went to was one of the toughest age group..
from grade 4 to grade 7..
this group of boys have been going to SS for many years already...
since their parents are all hardcore members of the church..
so they have heard almost every story in the Bible already..
it is really hard to keep their attention..

but yesterday..after observing the SS teacher Cecil...
i can see that he has lots of heart for the children...
he uses every simple words and phrases to send out the message of the Bible..
even i benefited from them..

The topic was Bad Habits..
we all have our own bad habits..
i have tons that wants to get rid of..
but weren't able do so for yrs..

As apostle Paul have said...

"For what i want to do i do not do, but what i hate I do...
For i have the desire to do what is good, but i cannot carry it out.."
(Roman 7:15, 18)

"When i want to do good, evil is right there with me.
For in my inner being I delight in God's law;
but I see another law at work in the members of my body,
waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin
at work within my members."
(Roman 7:21-23)

Then Cecil gave a very good example...
When we create something, if the item is broken and needs fixing
it needs to go back to its creator..

For example, we build a car..
let say the car is not able to start its engine..
the brakes are gone..or have a flat tire..
the car cannot fax itself..
it cannot just jump out and open its own hood and repair itself..
the car needs to go back to its "dealer"
because the dealer knows every part of the car well...
and will be able to fix it in no time..

I guess it is the same with our bad habits..
we always think that we can fix ourselves..
correcting our own bad habits..
like smoking..
we maybe able to quit for a while..
but then maybe after a few wks..
we will be easily hook on it again..

humans are always trying to use their own power to change themselves..
but our power are so limited...
there are lots of things that are just out of our reach...
so the only way really is to depend on God..

I pray that God will give me the power to change my old self..
to be with me all the time to carry me through the dark valleys..

First Blog

Finally created my blog space...
Always wanted to find out why ppl can be so into this thing?
I do remember that Pak Kin from HK Breakthrough encourage us to write blogs...
but need to know WHY, what is the reason that you are spending your time doing this...

From what i see...it can be like a dairy..
but it is avail for everyone to see..
Then, won't that create a problem?

WHEN you write your dairy, it is only avail to yourself to read,
it is a way to express your feelings and emotions...
a space where u can be honest to yourself..
say anything you want, let it all out and forget about it...
then wait till like 10 yrs later and laugh about it...
you do not have to care about what other ppl think after reading ur blog..

But if it goes public..
can you still be honest about everything?
for example..
if you just have a fight with ur gf..
can you still blog about it...
giving the details of why you had the fights..
and letting everyone have a daily update of how it is progressing?
and surely your gf will be reading it as well...
um...

i see other ppl have blogs to write about their own interest...
like cooking tips, movie reviews, book reviews, yoga, travelling, anything that you can think of..
to share what they love.. and to educate ppl about it...
um..i guess this is a way to satify everyone's desire to be a writer...
but it is also like a open-source info exchange..
like in the book "The World is Flat"..
the internet was started by many computer geeks that just want to have their emails sent..
and to share their "sciencific findings" within their communities..
and now look that have developed into Linux...

Blogs actually have existed for a while..
i have come into contact with it when i was the chief editor for UN mag..
and one of the writers have her own..don't know what u call it back then..
don't have the term "Blog" back then..
she just keep writing her personal thoughts online..
and meet other ppl through her writing to fellow bloggers...
it was great..i have learn so much more about culture...
they introduced me to Stan Getz.. Memento..lots of great books,
music and movies....

I guess i want my blog to some something like that...
to just share what i have seen or read..
so that ppl reading can get out of their usual comfort zone
and go dive into something out of the ordinary...
Also to have ppl to comment and share their thoughts...