Saturday, November 22, 2008

Lars and the Real Girl



It is about Lars who is an really extreme introvert because of hurts in the past, and one day just shows up with a great beautiful girl, Bianca, the doll as his girlfriend.

A great movie about how sometimes we make really stupid decisions, and projected everything we wanted onto a delusion... but everyone around you played along with you cause all they wanted to do is love you...
pretty touching...

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Bend the arc of history



At the cool autumn night of Nov. 4,
for many the impossible dream has finally came true.
America's first ever African-America president was elected.

As I was watching his victory that night, tears begin to fill my eyes.
As this is not only a president that the people in US had been waiting for,
but also a change that the world has been waiting for a long time for.
Obama has given hope to people who needed it most.

He had completed half of the dream by his hero, Martin Luther King Jr.,
to eliminate racial discrimination in America,
the other half is to eliminate poverty still has a long way to go,
but his election will surely speed up the process
and inspire a lot of people to work hard and tell the world that nothing is really impossible. There are tons of newborns being named Obama in Kenya right now.

He came from a broken family with parents separated at an early age,
then had a drug addiction in his teen years,
how he came back and work hard the black community and see their hardship,
then going into Harvard law school and then becoming the president should only have been seen in a Hollywood movie.
But it really did came true.

I wondered as I was watching if one day, there will be a Chinese Canadian who will become Canada's Prime Minister, as we were once before a discriminated railway worker, just like the blacks were trapped in slavery in the US, is it possible?


As Obama said in his speech,
"It's the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day."

We have been living in an of wars, social injustice, global warming, poverty, greed in the financial market, and this has become a major turning point in history. He had mentioned Ann Nixon Cooper, an 106 years old lady, who was born just pass the slavery generation, witnessed the Great Depression, whom wasn't able to vote before, the Pearl Habour and the two world wars, and today, she had came to vote on a touch screen that made part of history. This is truly amazing.

Obama very much believed in investing into the future generation, as he was deeply influenced by John F Kennedy, in a 2007 speech,
"I wouldn't be here if, time and again, the torch had not been passed to a new generation."
He is able to see that it is important to pass this flame down to another generation, that's why I believe he will be a great president.

In making of Obama, or the history of African America in US, they say
"Rosa sat so Martin could walk; Martin walked so Obama could run."
It is a step by step long time process.

So what is it that we can contribute in this time of great need in the world?
What can our generation do so that our future generation to FLY towards their dreams?

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Blindness Movie


I have always thought that Fernando Meirelles was a great director as his last two movie was really great...The City of God (On my Top 10 movie list of all time) and Constant Gardener...
So when Blindness comes with, with a cast of Julianne Moore and Gael García Bernal, i just got to go see it right away on the opening night...
(Spoilers ahead)

It is a very great movie, so lots of metaphors and symbols to show how human nature react in sudden chaos...
Has a lot for viewers to think about, will be a bit better if the director can show Julianne, the only one who can see, her struggling to adapt and her loneliness in the situation...
The movie is about how a nation of people suddenly got this epidemic of instant "white blindness" that spread very quickly in the city.
It is very interesting how they see whiteness instead of totally darkness, which is how a total blind person should see...total blackness...

To get a clue of what this "blindness" may mean, the eye doctor was saying there was nothing wrong with the eyes, just that every light was turned on, that's why people couldn't see...
When compared to the dark ages before with lots of oppression and violence, when all the lights are turned on, when humans have all the freedoms that they want, it brings into question what does freedom, human rights, self interests, free market means...

And this "disease" is very contiguous can also be interrupted into the greed that had blinded us into seeing things clearly, just look at wall street and the US economy...
it can also be substituted into all the capitalism, consumerism, any beliefs that lead us not to see clearly and degrade our human dignity in the end, hurting each other in the process...


When all the people with the virus are quarantined in an abandoned hospital,
(Why can't we lock up all the greedy selfish bankers causing all the trouble...>_<) where it was kinda setup like a concentration camp,
with the stupid television telling how sorry the government was to put them there... (hmm... I thought I saw that somewhere before...)
The darkness of the human nature quickly showed...
As Gael Garcia Bernal became the leader of his ward taking charge,
ordering everyone around, taking control of the food supply,
which was the only power there...asking for money and belongings in return for food, later asked the women for sex in exchange...
the morals of the people in the cell decayed very quickly...
people doing what they desire without any boundaries when no one overlooking their behavior...

Julianne Moore, somehow the only one with the "clear vision" quietly observed, caring for all those around her...


The ironic thing is...she really needed to be the strongest one to survive as she can actually see the condition that they are living in, what everyone have become ...

This is really like how ppl nowadays seeing all the madness in the world, the loneliness and the struggles that they have, as no one else sees the way they see...
How can they keep their hope that one day things will get better??
What is the point of keep trying to change things when you are the only one who can see...
Has it become the burden to seeing then?
How will you use the power?
When will we be able to wake up and see clearly??


How did it end?? just go see for yourself...
in the meantime, just watch the trailer to get a taste of it...

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Playlist..

The world rushes on over the strings of the lingering heart making the music of sadness...
~ Tagore ~



Beginning to see the wonders of how music can go straight into the heart,
stirring your emotions round and round...

Which ballad was dancing happily around your jumpy heart
on the first date with your love?

The chant that was on the sideline cheering for you
when you feel really frustrated and about to give up?

The lullaby that was sitting by your bedside,
crying with your broken heart in the midnight hours?

Or the blues that sets the mood for the late night talks
watching the street lights flicker and sky changes color,
hiding the feelings of not wanting to part?

It is by fate and chance that you get connected to a song...
a type of 緣份... being in the right place and the right time...
where the song will become part of your life from that moment on...
so that whenever you hear the same tune whichever you are,
the scenery around the melody will just flash right before your eyes...
recalling the moment over and over...
(only if it was that easy...)

Lately John Mayer, 王若琳, Leona Lewis and Tanya are all having a party at my ears every night...

What's on your playlist?

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Stuck....

Starting to understand why some ppl turn into alcoholic or druggie...
(don't worry... I am not turning into one...)
cause sometimes... things just are out of your control...
but you just got to sit there and wait it out...
cause u can't do nothing about it...

Is kinda like being stuck on a highway...
with a 3 lane accident ahead... crash of a car pile...
and you are stuck in the center lane with no exit in sight...
Maybe just getting to the should lane and sleep it off...
till everything is cleaned up and over isn't too bad...


just feeling the cold whiskey on rocks circling inside my mouth...
tasting the bitterness of it...
reminding me of the past...
the memories...
the experiences...
the insomnia...
feeling the warmth flowing down the throat...
slowly leaving a trail of burning sensation...
so that I can just take a second or two off the matters on my mind...
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then find the whiskey had already been diluted without a taste to it...

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Going Veggie??


This past week was really going VERY SLOW...kinda...
it is because me and Sim are going on this no meat diet...
which is really a pain in my ass... cause ppl who know me will know that I am like a big big meat monster, a meal without meat will really kill me...

But then I see that the food crisis is really getting to be a problem...
with so much of our food going to the biofuel to feed our cars...
also lots of our food are going to feed the animals for the meat that we eat...
which could have been used to feed the poor and hungry...esp a famine is being predicted again in places like Ethiopia and many other countries...

With so many ppl having to go hungry... I think that trying to go on a meatless diet is not really a big thing to ask for... as many have them never tasted meat in their life time...

So I will be doing the no meat diet for this week, which is almost over and should be ending on Sunday night...
It was really really a painful journey, as I was faced with many many temptations from yummy beef steak to lambs and chicken wings...
While I was only eating mushroom, Tofu and fruits most of the time...and will go real hungry in no time...
But it was great that I am able to hold myself off and should be able to finish the quest at hand till then...
and will try to go on a less meat diet bit by bit after that....

Sometimes I ask myself why are we doing something so silly...and it doesn't seem to be any use at all...
but in the process, even though it was painful, ppl that were eating with me get curious about it and I can pass the clause to them about it... which is a great great way to spread the message around...
We can have all these knowledge about it, but it is in the acting out of it that people get curious and get drawn to it...

Isn't it kinda the same as being a Christian?
That I always ask myself over and over again
why we have to do something so different...
what is the pt of not downloading the music on the net for free?
or not buying the fake copies of films...
why have to be so honest in certain situations..
why have to speak out when you see something unjust or just wrong when everyone is doing it, what's wrong with you? So that ppl can hate you for it??
It is just life, take it easy...
Make some money, enjoy life... retire early... have fun... don't work so hard...
You are not going to make a difference... what can you do??
and what if this all turn out to be false?? Then you have wasted your whole life....

We are just silly ppl aren't we??
Oh... I thought you already know about that when you are called to be a Christian...


---------------------------------------------------
THE CASE FOR VEGETARIANISM

by Bruce Friedrich, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA)



Last month, The UN called the diversion of crops to biofuels “a crime against humanity”. Indeed, 100m tonnes of corn and other crops that could feed people instead feed our cars.

But what if I told you that 7 times as much crops (750m tonnes) are taken from the mouths of the global poor to feed chickens, pigs, and other farmed animals? Surely this is a crime against humanity of even greater impact.

I adopted a vegetarian diet more than 20 years ago, after I read Diet for a Small Planet, by Frances Moore Lappe. It changed my life.

In the book, Lappe makes the argument that using land to grow crops for animals is inefficient, polluting, and that it steals food from the mouths of the global poor.

The fact is, it’s not only her that has noticed. It seems so obvious, and slowly people are picking up on the point. Going veggie is a simple yet effective way to make sure everyone on the earth can eat.

The point is echoed by the respected environmental think tank, The WorldWatch Institute, which published a report a few years back that declares:

“[M]eat consumption is an inefficient use of grain—the grain is used more efficiently when consumed by humans. Continued growth in meat output is dependent on feeding grain to animals, creating competition for grain between affluent meat-eaters and the world’s poor.”

More and more, that message is getting a hearing, so that the UN’s climate chief Yvo de Boer said:

“The best solution would be for us all to become vegetarians.”

Indeed.

A UN report recently found that eating meat is the number one human cause of global warming. Of course, poor communities are always the first to suffer the potentially grave consequences of climate change.

The official handbook for the Live Earth concerts says “refusing meat” is “the single most effective thing you can do to reduce your carbon footprint.“

The UN report also noted the meat industry’s contribution to:

*problems of land degradation
*climate change
*air pollution
*water shortage
*water pollution
*loss of biodiversity.

Clearly, there is problem, and something needs to be done.

Isn’t adopting a vegetarian diet the least that each of us can do?

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Are You A Meat-Eating Environmentalist?

Written by Noelle dEstries

The facts point out that your juicy sirloin steak is worse for the environment than your SUV. But does that mean we really need to put our forks down? Why can’t we still fight global warming while eating a cheeseburger — it’s better to be a meat-eating environmentalist than nothing at all. Amen. Dead flesh for everyone! From the New York Times Article:

EVER since “An Inconvenient Truth,” Al Gore has been the darling of environmentalists, but that movie hardly endeared him to the animal rights folks. According to them, the most inconvenient truth of all is that raising animals for meat contributes more to global warming than all the sport utility vehicles combined.

The biggest animal rights groups do not always overlap in their missions, but now they have coalesced around a message that eating meat is worse for the environment than driving. They and smaller groups have started advertising campaigns that try to equate vegetarianism with curbing greenhouse gases.

Some backlash against this position is inevitable, the groups acknowledge, but they do have scientific ammunition. In late November, the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization issued a report stating that the livestock business generates more greenhouse gas emissions than all forms of transportation combined.

When that report came out, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and other groups expected their environmental counterparts to immediately hop on the “Go Veggie!” bandwagon, but that did not happen. “Environmentalists are still pointing their fingers at Hummers and S.U.V.’s when they should be pointing at the dinner plate,” said Matt A. Prescott, manager of vegan campaigns for PETA.

So the animal rights groups are mobilizing on their own. PETA is outfitting a Hummer with a driver in a chicken suit and a vinyl banner proclaiming meat as the top cause of global warming. It will send the vehicle to the start of the climate forum the White House is sponsoring in Washington on Sept. 27, “and to headquarters of environmental groups, if they don’t start shaping up,” Mr. Prescott warned.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Did you get your call today?

Ever since the beginning of the year...so many things are happening, not only in China, but around the world as well...

First off is the assassination of Bhutto in Pakistan right after New Years...
whose suspect was freed today in Pakistan...
and the violence in Kenya for their elections...


Then it was frozen cold by the winter storm in China which have millions stranded...




It heated up with the riots and protests in Burma...





then got a call about the World Food Crisis which have millions in danger of famine around the food...



Zimbabwe's poll is similar with Kenya's killing a lot of the opposition supporters...


The US's fight between Obama and Hillary took over the news and attention...


All of a sudden, the cyclone in Burma...


And the big earthquake in Sichuan killing tens of thousands, leaving millions homeless, lots of orphans...



But then the flood in Iowa and Southern parts of China took over later also with more killing in Iraq and Afghan...



Of course the oil prices and the Brad and Angelia's baby and Hulk Hogan's son running someone over is important as well...

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So many news everyday, taking over after one another, until we forget about everything and anything that happened.

People always ask what we can do seeing so many things on the news...and then just we will just go on to watch our fav. sports, as the Stanley Cup, NBA Finals, and Euro Cup is on... and just use anything possible to distract ourselves from all those news cause it is making us so depress... like alcohol, relationships, video games, loud loud music, sex, drugs to block out all the little voices coming and going in our head...
Until the next Big News take over on the news...
So that we can move on...
And live with ourselves...

---------------------------------

We Are The World

There comes a time
When we head a certain call
When the world must come together as one
There are people dying
And it's time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all

We can't go on
Pretneding day by day
That someone, somewhere will soon make a change
We are all a part of
God's great big family
And the truth, you know love is all we need

We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

Send them your heart
So they'll know that someone cares
And their lives will be stronger and free
As God has shown us by turning stone to bread
So we all must lend a helping hand

We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

When you're down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe
There's no way we can fall
Well, well, well, well, let us realize
That a change will only come
When we stand together as one

We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

China Sichuan Earthquake


Driving in the middle of the rain,
I feel how comfoie and silly we are...
we are so safe and secure in N. America, in our nice car and home...
and always complain about our little rain and run into our houses ducking out heads in...
where on the other side of the world, this rain maybe their life, their only source of clean water for the moment,
or it will make them even more colder cause they have been living outside for the past weeks, with fears of another servere storm mounting up on the weekend in Burma

When I see on TV how a whole village of children lost their parents, just there crying the whole way without saying much, but it is already a big enough message and tears starts to break out...

pictures of children buried under collapsed buildings,
news of how a village had lost a whole generation of youth because of a break down of a school during the day, how their parents will feel with their only child gone...
stories of how soldiers walked for 13 hours just to get to remote villages to help the homeless and needed...
how some ppl still arguing if we still need to help China cause they are already so rich and can take care of themselves...
how come ppl can still turn this disaster into something very political and use it to blame the government of China...where are our hearts?? still have room to talk about boycotting someone in the midst of this??

maybe because there are too much bombarments from too many wars and disasters that we already start to feel numb, and just give ourselves a very good excuses, there are just too many of them, what can I do about it, no use just helping one or two of them...
imagine one of them is your relative, just one, not much, will you change your mind then?

Please do what you can, donate to diff NGO that are able to help out, care for ones that lost their loved ones... if does make a difference...
Or you can come support this event this coming Friday.
Even just a mere presence is a support...

「愛心傳千里,四川賬災大行動」
What’s about:
Date: May 16 (this Friday) 10:00am – 10:00pm
Venue: Pacific Mall
Broadcast: CCB
Highlight event: 8:00- 10:00pm (one min of silence in remember the victim at the disaster, cheque presentation, pledges and performance)

All donations will go to Red Cross Canada for the quake in China.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Short Film: Snapshot



Starring Andrea Pressburger, Shaughnessy Redden

The story is about a photographer (Luc),
who has this theory that you only get so many chances in life,
just like in a roll of film, only get so many shots,
only so many opportunities in career,
people that are worthy to have a relationship with.

Luc met a philosophy and literature student (Angel)
while shooting for his exhibition,
whom he really have a connection with
through their discussions about life and death,
relationships, how to make choices in life...

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Norah Jones - The Story (My Blueberry Nights OST)


Wow... this song is just so amazing...
love her so much.. amazing voice...
and to think it is with Natalie Portman and Wong Kar Wai, Rachel Weisz, Jude Law...
Just too crazy!!!!
Can't wait to watch it!!!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

轉載:陳冠希作為比喻的 A to Z

Even though can't agree to some of the points that was in the article,
but can see how some ppl from the media are viewing this and their "reflections" on the whole incident...

------------------------------------------

轉載:陳冠希作為比喻的 A to Z
明報副刊周日話題 林奕華  2008年2月17日

A is for Angel / Adult / Apologize

天使是來自西方的觀念。他是男性的使者。人們把天使轉化成女性,本身已具有「性」意味,就像肥皂泡出現在洗碗盤中與音樂影帶裏是兩回事,一個的產生是基於化學反應,另一個是借化學反應的視覺來比喻容易破滅的美麗。

雖說阿嬌的「天使(純潔)」形象在陳冠希照片風暴中被徹底粉碎,但若從「天使」為何由男變女的本質問題上來看,「她」的角色其實就是一個「性使者」(在出道歌曲《明愛暗戀補習社》已穿泳衣)。撇開阿嬌是個成年人,今次事件並容或令人發現「天使」也有性生活,但「天使」只是一個角色,扮演她的演員私下有覑正常人的生活,既然如此,她哪裏有錯,為何因此要向大眾道歉?抑或,大眾是想以要求阿嬌之名來上演一齣公審戲,又名《特區十大酷刑》?

B is for Blow Job (a.k.a. KJ)

口交是今次事件的第一主角。在陳冠希的陽具前,「淑女」也會變了大眾從未見過有此神態的另一個人。當陳為對手「口交」時,鏡頭下的「天使」與平日模樣又是大不一樣。兩者都鞏固了男性的優越感。但更觸動大眾神經的,應是前者——口交一直被認為是取悅男性的「手段」,因為它是「骯髒」的,加上鏡頭前「甘之如飴」的都是知名女藝人,大眾——不論男女——的心理難免會又愛又恨,又妒又羨。

陳冠希選擇紀錄口交而不是不同姿式的性行為,誰說不是出於追求心理滿足多於肉體滿足。

C is for Cecelia / Consumption / Conspiracy

張柏芝的羅曼史將來不難成為回憶錄、暢銷書、電影、電視劇。所以找她拍電視劇《周璇》是注定失敗——在命途多舛的金嗓子之前,張只有更larger than life。在這方面,她與謝霆鋒確是「地設一雙」,分別只在一個是後天培養,一個是生下來便要成為「名人/藝人」。張在照片風波中沒有「破壞(個人)形象」的問題,只有「(倫理)角色衝突」的矛盾——丈夫是圈內人,自己又是一個孩子的母親,「自由」已經不屬於她了。所以傳媒對張的消費,一直指向(搗碎) 她的「家庭」。

是「策略」,也是「陰謀」。

D is for Desperate / Desire

Desperate Housewives一直沒有最佳中文譯名,因為desperate是種只能意會,不能直譯的狀態。不是完全沒有,廣東話的「猴擒」、「擒青」便能傳神地道出我們的飢餓。

陳冠希照片事件是一次「香港人有幾desperate」的鮮活寫照。Desperate的,也就是極度心癢難熬和飢渴的,是這邊廂很想得到(否則不會演變成照片沒有「源頭」),但又不屑不齒相中所見事物;很想跟人討論交流,但又要先表明道德立場;很想事件有更重口味的發展,但又不願反問自己為何有此傾向;很想有人為事件付出巨大代價,但又不認為自己的消費態度也會有代價;很想很想得到很多,但又不知道自己真想和最想要什麼。

Desperateness的源頭,正是搞不懂「想」和「要」。原來陳冠希比我們更清楚什麼是他的「想」和「要」。

E is for Edison / Ego / Envy

如果那個人不是陳冠希,誰會更有「資格」與一眾疑似或涉嫌與案有關的女星拉上「性」關係?說到涉嫌,現在是任何女星都有可能,因為陳冠希有條件令不可能成為可能。說真的,我倒想知道陳的同輩藝人怎麼想——假設男性的天性之一是「競爭」。

儘管在事件未發生前,他的一言一行均已是引發妒忌的火種。「賺夠2000萬美金便退休,現時已距離不遠」云云。陳冠希某程度上是集《鹿鼎記》中的康熙與韋小寶於一身。他既是CEO,又是街頭小子,的確會叫還未找到自己的年輕男性「暈眩」。「暈眩」源於失去方向感,陳冠希之所以激怒很多男性,是因為這些照片令他們相信沒有事物是不可能的,但一照鏡子,又要面對因為條件不及陳冠希,不可能就是不可能。

作為這次事件的受害人之一,陳卻被視為是罪魁禍首,說到底可能還是與他的條件給很多人帶來了身分焦慮和自卑感有莫大關係。

F is for Fetishism / Friendship

照片是「物件」。又因為被拍攝的對象(物)經過「構圖」會給觀者帶來欲望(與滿足),所以,我們可以通過鏡頭來透視一個人的靈與慾。由手機附帶攝錄功能,到每個部落格上都少不了照片瀏覽,充分說明這是個「物」比「人」重要的時代。聆聽不再比觀看重要。「觀看」作為感官之一,確是更能令我們掌握生命的「價值」:說話不可能被量化,但食物、風景,統統都可以。由此可知,「經驗」已失去了被心領神會的意義,它(們)就是要經歷首先被「物質化」,再加以炫耀,繼而才能所謂「分享」——其實是害怕「口講無憑」。

每個人都要手執保障自己/證明自己的token(籌碼)才能自覺存在,彼此友誼(以及其連結)如是也由戀物來維繫。

G is for Gillian / Guilty / Girl

香港文化並不鼓勵「女孩」變成「女人」。一聽到別人尊稱她為「女人」,大多數廿歲以上的香港女性均會流露聞到異味,或踩到異物的神態。早上幾年,可能還附送一聲「啋!」。「女孩」與「女人」之差別,在處女膜。

香港女性一方面甚少受離家文化影響——不像台灣大陸,為了求學、工作,女性一樣要離鄉背井,獨立便是第一步。雖說那不代表就是「精神獨立」,起碼被一般人認為需要照顧的性別也要面對獨立生活。

香港女孩最需要思考的問題是社會為什麼不讓她們替自己負責,卻是一味鼓吹等待幸福——終生被「愛」你的男人保護;而換取「幸福」的代價,就是讓男人把本來是「女孩」的你變成「女人」。

「阿嬌」是這樣文化下的產物,因這次事件使她的「內外不一」曝現人前其實是對這種文化的最大諷刺。社會以無形壓力迫使她對唔戴眼識人「認錯」,是因為不能接受被諷刺之故。

諷刺什麼?當然是封建和自欺欺人。

H is for Hypocrite / Hypocritical

「虛偽」兩隻字在報章頭條上被放大,首先使人深思的,倒不是被它們指控的當事人(阿嬌)有幾表裏不一、言不由衷,而是兩隻字被看到的背景,以及從中引伸出來的定義。

如果我們都能明白,及實事求是地接受一份報章可以在新聞版道貌岸然,在風月版卻是「大滾友」,那麼,要求一個廿六七歲的女藝人徹頭徹尾是童話中的仙子或公主,便是選擇性地提出指控。因為,藝人明顯是娛樂工業一部分,「童話」的存在是補償現實中不能達成的美夢,只有兒童(天真)或思想不成熟的人(幼稚)才會相信看似童話人物的藝人是活在現實世界中的卡通人物。

為什麼有些人可以一邊如此世故,同時又如此無知?抑或,無知不過是一種偽裝,為的是開 脫自己的鋤弱扶強?以譴責阿嬌「虛偽」為例, 只要認識問題的本質,任何人都知道她的「虛偽」只是服膺虛偽的娛樂制度,甚至是媒體制度——「她」的「純情」,難道不是由這些制度按照市場需求而塑造?大眾渴望她永遠保持貞潔,但在渴望背後又隱藏覑對她的性幻想——何嘗不是出於充滿吊詭和抑壓的欲望?

不去反思自己的矛盾,偏去怪罪一個平日盡量替大眾「圓夢」,卻因一次意外而打碎集體幻想的藝人「虛偽」,請問是誰的不誠實和說一套做一套對社會造成更大的誤導和影響?

即便阿嬌真是「虛偽」,她「口不對心」的理由已是人所共知, 但在這時候還以道德之名搖旗吶喊要她「全盤交代」者,目的卻是希望消費過程中更多細節(甚至牟利),那就更是典型賊喊捉賊,真的很虛偽。

I is for Ignorance / (Dis)illusion

陳冠希照片風波的社會意義可分成消費和反思兩種。它們當然不是非黑即白。有些是消費佔九十巴仙,思考才一點點。另一些是消費之餘,覺得它帶出大量議題和問號,這些議題和問號既不是因這次事件而起,也不會隨事件平息後消失;相反,食髓知味者會繼續尋找類似題材再接再厲——在物質層次追求「問題」的來龍去脈,結果只會是同一問題的recycling。真要說到一次事件與另一次事件的差異,那也只會是無關宏旨(trivial)的細節,以今次事件為例。它的本質和過去或將來的名人醜聞可說全無改變,都是把集體的性抑壓以消費別人的不幸來宣泄。

不能在不斷重複的經驗中學乖,是因為沒有進步的自覺?抑或,在一個物質掛帥的社會裏,跳不出消費框框是我們的宿命?

J is for Justice

陳冠希引起的「公憤」,那個「公」字誠屬可圈可點。明明是他的私隱在非自願情下被公開消遣,卻因為「他害苦了幾名女藝人」而必須站出來「向大眾交代事件的全部過程」。因為有人名節受到「損害」(damage),所以,「大眾便有知道全部真相的權利」。與此同時,「損害」女藝人的主要證物——性愛照片,卻無日無之不斷被放在公眾空間供大眾評頭品足或感嘆「女藝人何其虛偽」。

如果你會被上述的邏輯弄得昏頭轉向、啼笑皆非,我想有此感受的不止一個人。說明了「公義」的定義可以隨著利益和立場的改變而轉變。「公義」理應源自公理。最顯淺的公理是「己所不欲,勿施於人」,但從今次事件可見,媒體與網民在發布事件最新材料上的不落人後,完全是以滿足大眾的欲望為出發點。

「公義」,成了吃餬的一張百搭牌。

K is for Killer

奇拿在《死亡筆記》中是個替天行道者。如果陳冠希案中真有手執所有照片與錄像片段的「殺手」,他的動機又是哪一種替天行道,抑或是要復哪一種仇?

太多了。正如前述,許多得不到被教育、被灌輸必須得到某些東西的人都自覺是被辜負、被背叛、被遺棄、被犧牲的「失敗者」。尤其在這「每個人都有15分鐘成為名人」的時代裏,失敗者的傷痕、仇恨並非來自個人恩怨,而是如大坦克車般把他(或她)壓扁的「成功意識」。

名人成為被媒體開刀的對象,是身分地位焦慮大幅度發酵的必然結果。在這種社會風氣之下,欲望造成我們內傷,受傷更不會令我們明白休養生息的重要,反之,只會加深對欲望追求的迫切感。既然積極無用,消極的滿足——如摧毀別人——也能帶來成就感。

都說奇拿揭穿藝人的荒淫虛偽,但誰敢說易地而處,「他」不會一樣物盡其用?所以,我們就是奇拿,奇拿就是我們。「我們」就是不敢挑戰建構大眾欲望的制度,而只敢讓條件容或比我們好,但同樣是受害的人活得不好過。

L is for Link

「連結」這個詞的意義是被陳冠希事件改寫的4個詞彙之一。另外3個是「疑似」、「朋友」、「源頭」。經陳冠希事件一役,「連結」不再是單純存在於網頁與網頁之間的關係,它變成一種默契,一個暗號,一種令網民感覺自己屬於某個秘密組織的認同,通過進入這些「連結」,大家猶如聽命於同一首領,一個「黨」或「幫派」如是成立。

這種權力結構符合了男性世界的團結心理,箇中內容更是大多數男性趨之若鶩的「性」。由此或可推想,從以往男性在網絡空間各自為政地看「鹹相」,今次事件也許會像「芝麻,開門」,未來將大大增加男性「分享」情色資訊的意欲和合作。或可以說,是「性」令網上的男性更加團結,團結的程度,從近期數百網民上街對抗警權可見一斑——以往都說網民只會躲在虛擬空間,但因陳冠希事件,他們不但現身現實,還挑戰現實。

政治沒有的力量,「性」有,原因是?

M is for Morals

阿嬌也好,陳冠希也好,二人在今次事件中蒙受的損失再大,承受的壓力再大,在媒體和大眾眼中,都不能開脫「影響年輕人道德觀」的責任。

什麼是「年輕人道德觀」?

在權威(泛指家長)的理想中,年輕人都是白紙,並且以保護他們繼續「白紙」下去之名來禁制他們從經驗中找到自己,認識自己。有一次我在某教會中學便聽過一位校長理所當然地說:「外面的世界如此混亂,我不能容許我的學生和它發生任何接觸。」我的第一個反問是:「你打算讓他們一輩子住在校內?」她明顯把「我的」看得比一切重要。

每個成年人都曾是年輕人。很多今日說要保護年輕人不讓他們被不良風氣腐化的父母,過去都曾反抗以同樣道理壓制他們的上一代。但在今天,他們不想子女道德淪亡的同時,自己的人際與情慾關係卻無比複雜混亂。我的意思是,不知多少人是消極利用道德來避免「問題」的產生,反而不去教育子女(或自己)以多角度思考和培養辨別是非能力來回應人生中的什麼是對和錯。

陳冠希事件在很多「家長」眼中的「罪惡」,乍看是「性」,其實主要還是「不能吃虧」的功利心態。誰叫「性」在我們的社會中一向不被看成是人格發展的重要一步,卻是某種的話事啤——最緊要籌碼?

在向來重「著數(好處)教育」而輕「道德教育」的香港地,成年人們總是要年輕人成為他們自己不能成為的那個人。

N is for Narcissism / Notebook / Necrophilia

照片中從不放過望鏡頭的陳冠希的猶如水仙花。渴望藉照片滿足欲望的人則像希治閣電影《迷魂記》的男主角詹士史釗活。在經歷一次情慾關係的失敗後,不再追求新經驗的他,只能把對一個死去女人的欲望重塑在另一個女人的肉體上。是他失去希望,導致他的欲望也少了應有的生命力。

利用陳冠希這些照片的人其實沒有「分享」到他的自戀,相反,他的眼神或只會令一些人「自慚形穢」,於是連帶影響他們對照片中的女藝人的觀感——只要明知自己條件比不上陳,現實中對陳說「Yes!」的女性便有可能對他說「No!」,女藝人的相片如是成為最佳的心理補償品——就像死屍一般,她們沒有拒絕的能力。

是陳冠希以照片形式令他們的欲望變成「死物」,他們才能從陳給他們造成的無力感中得回操控欲望的權力。

O is for Obsession

沉迷是一種徵狀。日本人將沉迷化成藝術,造就名叫達人的收藏藝術家。達人能從普通人的境界中昇華,是有「病人」的執迷,卻比「病人」理智清醒。他們把收藏變成藝術,他們的精神,其實與藝術家無異。

假以時日,陳冠希拍攝的這些照片未嘗不可能讓他既成達人,又是藝術家──他收藏的是自己的作品。「收藏」或許也有公開展覽一天(如果沒有今次事件):或是社會風氣變了、開放了,不再把情慾當成禁忌或籌碼,並且懂得分辨藝術和無聊的差別——疑似張柏芝的好些照片,以至某些口交照片都有一定美學價值(衛道之士請不要指摘我這樣寫是鼓吹青少年進行模仿,即便青少年真的拍了類似照片,美就是美,美的標準只能在藝術的標準下被評論,正如不能因為一個人善良和正直,他的畫就自然「美」,道德成就不應該被等同為藝術成就,反之亦然)。

簡單來說,陳作為攝影師,他有他的「眼睛」。

但社會上大多數人看待這些照片,除了「淫賤」還是「淫賤」,這當中豈不反映出一個可能性:陳冠希的沉迷為他留下「惡名」外,也留下有可能成為藝術品的一些照片,而沉迷於性和身體單一被看作「引人犯罪」的我們,則一如柏拉圖著名的「洞穴神話」中被鎖在山洞裏的野人,看見牆上被火光投影的樹和山便以為是世界的全部?

到底是什麼令我們如此害怕和逃避真實世界?害怕和逃避的程度,直逼一種沉迷?

P is for Philosophy

一件小事都可以觸發思考,何況大事如天天在報章頭條上和我們打招呼的陳冠希照片事件?按照事態發展,不幸中之大幸是沒有「弄出人命」——媒體今日傳言這個自殺,那個崩潰,還有「江湖中人下追殺令」——事件的嚴重性可想而知。那樣一樁大事,理應讓我們好好問明「這是怎麼一回事?」。

由看似簡單的問題開始,其實是藉此離開物質世界而進入觀念世界。何謂觀念?連小孩子都會回答:「那便是我們心裏所想的。」在今次事件中,大眾執著的無一不是「觀念」,譬如道德、公義、誠信(虛偽)、責任、真實、藝術等。但在媒體上談到這些觀念時,卻經常出現人們對於它們的含意只有顯而易見、籠統的定義,像「道德很重要」,但就沒有說明道德有多少層面,它在什麼時候發揮的力量對最多人和長遠來說是最有利。

意思是,我們好像在探索事件的本質和意義,實際上卻受制於觀念的含糊而使許多討論變得以偏概全。

陳冠希事件必然會把討論帶到探求心靈品質的範疇內,只不過許多當前被社會大眾提出的問題都不是以釐清思想為目標,自然不可能給目前的困境(看來事件將無止盡無了期地「發展」下去)找到出路。

「我們能夠做什麼?」——重點可能不在「做」,而是更應清楚了解「什麼是我們?」

Q is for Questions

這次事件讓你想到多少有關自己的問題?
這次事件讓你想到多少你不想討論的問題?
這次事件讓你想到多少你不懂得如何組織的問題?
這次事件讓你想到多少以前沒有想過的問題?
這次事件有沒有讓你在問問題中認識到更多自己?
這次事件有沒有讓你在問問題中發現更隱藏的自己?
這次事件有沒有讓你在問問題時更明白自己的想法?
明白自己的想法有沒有幫助你把今次事件看得更清楚?

R is for Responsibility / Role Model

陳 冠希與阿嬌是今次事件中「暴風眼」。憑阿嬌在公益事業上對社會的貢獻,她領取「十大傑出青年」本來指日可待,現今卻因在艷照風波中被看見與人有性行為,由 於她被公認是青少年成長路上的良伴與模楷,「失身」事小,「失職」事大,真要社會大眾對她如以往般寵愛,她要面對的是即便不是滿途荊棘,也將是漫漫長路。

至於陳冠希,「賤男」的權杖由梁榮忠手上接過,雖不排除暗中仍有人對他投以艷羨目光,但公開叫罵者只會有多沒少。

很明顯,社會對二人身受的痛苦不予同情,是因為我們假設了「偶像」的責任就是代替父母、老師「教好」年輕人們,而不是父母、老師自覺自己應該先教懂年輕人該如何面對、閱讀、反思流行文化在他們成長過程中扮演的角色。

試想想,「偶像」在社會中的角色和商品無異,但是會有父母、老師叫一張按摩椅「教好」年輕人嗎?一張按摩椅有可能「教懂」年輕人什麼是忠誠和潔身自愛嗎?

把「偶像」的「代言」當成「真言」,若是發生在入世未深的年輕人身上還「情有可原」,我們的社會卻是身為家長,老師者跑出來吶喊「我被騙了」,這個現象,在荒謬、荒誕、荒唐3個形容詞中,哪一個才最適合?

長大代表有覑承擔責任的能力和意願,它也是對生命進程有覑好奇和熱誠。今天看來,Twins受歡迎於3歲至80歲甚至足以象徵某種香港精神,可能反映出這個社會的人有不少是抗拒成長,因為他們抗拒責任。

S is for Source / Suspect

無獨有偶,「源頭」和「疑似」同時在S這個字母下找到了它們的家。前者經陳冠希事件洗禮後,代表網絡世界向權威的警方面上打一巴掌。警務處助理處長笑騎騎的「就算沒有捉到『源頭』,但已非常接近『源頭』」言猶在耳,「源頭」的定義已變成「沒有源頭」,或「處處都是源頭」。《廿二世紀殺人網絡》的複製人場面原來可以這番面貌出現在眼下的香港。

接下來更發現被扣押的「源頭」根本不足以入罪。疑犯被當庭釋放的前一日,新照片又有兩張面世。結果是,「疑似」犯罪者原來不是元兇,被戴上「疑似」帽子的受害人卻一一站出來脫下帽子。短短兩周,香港人在「源頭」和「疑似」兩個名詞中見識了一場從字面到意義上的大混亂。

T is for Twins / Taboos / Tattoos

陳冠希事件令Twins的雙生兒命運從此不一樣——我認識一個自阿嬌阿Sa出道至今年1月27日前還分不開誰是誰的朋友。但在阿嬌幾近日日登上報章頭條之後,他發現即便Twins跟往常一樣二人同場出現,他的眼睛大部分時間都在留意阿嬌。

阿嬌好像少了一些什麼,又多了一些什麼。阿Sa卻仍舊是阿Sa。所以,是看不見的一些東西令阿嬌更被看得見,短期內阿Sa要在阿嬌身旁爭回目光還真不容易。

看得見和看不見在事件中的另一層意義,是如何藉大小特徵進行對相中人是真是假的驗明正身。張柏芝的紋身如是成為關鍵。可以想像、經歷網民、媒體的放大和多番鑑證,同樣的紋身對張芝將有極不同的意義——誰願意自己喜愛的東西,有一天反過來成了使自己受傷害的指控。

女人的禁忌之一,是她們的情慾只可以被想像,但不能被看見。

U is for Un

Unloved——不被愛的人會把渴望被愛轉化成對自己的傷害;
Undesired——不被欲望的人會對自己的欲望抱持輕視,甚至鄙夷;
Uncivilized——欲望是由文明建構,欲望也是由文明控管。唯有打破欲望規條才能使人得到自由。但那將被視為顛覆社會秩序,是不文明的。
Uncontrollable——欲望不能被控制,但可以昇華。陳冠希的照片或可提供一個問題的思考:拍攝者的動機,有沒有可能是想讓他對相中人的欲望昇華?(如果你能從拍攝構圖和被拍者的神態看到攝影師與她們的情感互動)

V is for Vanity / Victory / Victims

拍照要拍得開心,虛榮心不可缺。否則在鏡頭前,我們會無所適從。每一張被拍者豎起V字手勢的照片,都讓人看見以下信息:一是他或她認為勝利手勢帶來最佳狀態 (姑勿論有幾人V我V);二是在最佳狀態下留影,將令相片更有分享(給人看)與保存(給自己看)價值。虛榮心,便是滲透於拍攝一張寄望人家讚賞、自己欣賞的照片的時候。

女藝人們在陳冠希照片中留下了明知不會被大眾讚賞的影像,但每一個的神態都是自己欣賞的。從這角度看來,不管嘴裏含什麼或身體哪個器官成為焦點,她們的眼神大多流露對鏡頭——也是拍攝者的信任和戀戀。有著感情的眼神,使這些照片不同於為了賣錢而拍的色情照,它們縱然也有展覽成分,但被展示的不只是身體,更多的其實是被欣賞的愉悅。

是某種所謂虛榮的被滿足。

如果相中不是赤裸或半裸,它們其實和一般男友替女友拍的沙龍照差不了多少——差不了多少的地方在被拍者的被釋放感——是「他」讓她覺得自己有吸引力和美。

數十年後,我們也許才能因為事過情遷平心靜氣的看到這些照片除了身體,還有別的。必然要到那些年後,我們才可能會覺得相中女藝人的神情面貌,是在陳冠希的鏡 頭下才被捕捉到。必然是要到那時候,我們可能才有機會明白「受害人」所受到的各種損害並非盡是來自照片本身,而是我們看它們(也是她們)的眼光。

W is for Witch-hunt

「抓女巫」的最恐怖之處,是抓到後來,每個人都會被發現和女巫有關係,最後,沒有人不是該死的女巫,因為「抓女巫」的終極目的是剷除異己。即是,不是自己便是異己。

社會對待非我族類者的非理性排斥,必先要有大眾支持。但大眾可以是工具,而且這工具很好利用——只要他們的觀點一致,口徑一致。例如才聽見「道德」便一呼百諾,而不是聽清楚聽明白前文後理。

陳冠希事件在網上和媒體燃燒至今,趨勢是牽連愈多人愈好。大眾似都情願把時間用在迅速繁殖的人物關係圖表,相片本身,卻似乎沒有被看清楚。這有點像證據還未成立,警方已在大肆搜捕和檢控。警察這樣做會被非議,但當我們自己犯上同樣毛病,卻鮮有人提出危險就在前面。

X is for CGX

這不是為陳冠希辯護的文章。但在全體香港市民對抗陳冠希之際,我們必須檢視他和他的相片是否也是一種催化劑。他和他的相片如果出現在另一種文化和另一個社會下,自必有不同後遺。如果是中東國家,則不可能被印成人手一本的照片集。如果是歐美,也不可能在照片版權仍未澄清屬誰便被媒體搶閘用來牟利。隨便兩個例子,便已說明我們這個社會一方面對事件咬牙切齒,與此同時又接受平面媒體以公眾有知情權的名義來剝削一眾受害人,包括陳冠希。

陳冠希拍攝這些相片是否不道德和他在事件中有沒有受到剝削兩件事情不應混為一談。但大眾對待事件的態度一直有被媒體操弄之嫌,多少印證了香港人喜歡談論卻不擅長思考。 只是未經思辨的邏輯又怎能成為將人入罪的控訴?是否因為隨便談論別人不容易被追究責任,我們才肆無忌憚人云亦云?

責任是「一個人必須做的事」,一個社會出現這麼多無從理清頭緒的「問題」,作為其中一分子,什麼是我們必須做的?

Y is for Y-me

任何誰都會在發生不幸時問「何必偏偏選中我?」。陳冠希和一眾受害人卻較難在今次事件中有此一問,因為答案太簡單了:「名人」在光,任何時刻都會更易被選中。

但是除了實際的被選中,也有另一層面的「避無可避」:有財富,有地位的人原來一樣要面對「成長」的磨難的痛苦。甚至,愈是擁有某些特權的人愈讓我們看見磨難與痛苦的加倍。

如果真要讓年輕人在今次事件中得到啟發(誰說成年人不需要?),它可能就是如何才能在眾聲喧嘩,卻沒有幾多不同想法和看法的社會找到能夠讓我們獨立思考的空間?

Z is for Zzzz……

下午5時提筆,清晨7時完稿,還可以睡一個兩小時的覺。

Thursday, January 24, 2008

不去會死!

作者:石田裕輔
旅行時間:連續7年5個月
訪問國家數:87國
行進距離:94,494公里
爆胎次數:184次
旅費:台幣17萬;
強盜搶劫: 1次
墜入愛河次數:?次

  「既然降生到這世界上,就要好好看遍它,親眼找出世界第一。」

The author was just a regular clergyman, and it is because of this feeling of having to figure out what is #1 in the world by his own standards, that he set on this journey to travel around the world!!!
He feels that he has to travel the world by his own two feet, not just by plane or by bus, but his own two feet!!! So he went on this long journey riding his bicycle...
Met a lot of follow travellers along the way, seeing Chichen Itza, Torres Del Paine, travelling the silk road, Sahara Desert...camping along the highways and on the snow banks, got robbed in the desert, on the verge of dying from local diseases... lots of great stories...
The best people are the ppl he met in Africa or South America where ppl are more poor, who were treating him with all they had and gave him shelter, where as in the big cities....
The book will have been great if there were more reflections about each place he visited... but I really do appreciate the determination that he showed in being able to complete the trip through so many hardships and sickness...

Makes me want to travel again!!!