Directing/Acting Classes

I am taking this class that's suppose to be for helping you how to direct actors...
and they say, if you want to know how to direct, you need to know how to act first...
so that you will know how hard it is for actors/actress to express themselves when have to be on the spot...

well...didn't think will have any problems at first, cause i did have some drama experience back in the days...
i don't like to do any public speaking...let alone acting...
but then, cause the class is really small, it is different to act for a whole audience, cause u don't really see any of the ppl down there when the spotlight is on you...so i can be free and do whatever...
so...in this small room full of ppl of different race...it is pretty hard...
forcing you out of the comfort zone...

One of the excise that we learn that will help actors connect is call a "word repetition" game...
that's when two ppl sit opposite of each other, knees to knees, eyes to eyes...
to fully observe any details about the other person, and just keep repetiting the words till there are new observations...
like a ping pong game, bounce back and forth....
will be like "You are scared", "You are scared"....."You are tense", "You are tense"
back and forth...
the purpose is so that the words will keep the brain occupied while your true emotion will be able to come out without thinking it through...

it is pretty interesting...
cause through the games, i learn about myself and others as well...
i can see that the partner that i choose to do this game with,
is someone that i have confidence to "manage", that i can control the whole process without making a fool of myself in front of the class...
somehow, the teacher was able to see this, maybe cause my tone was there to "help" or "teach" the other person how to do this...
and she said "Being safe doesn't get you the best stuff, creativity wise"...
which is pretty true, for me,
i guess i do things the same in many areas of my life,
choosing to do the safest thing so no one will be able to comment on them...
but i think i have change bit by bit these couple of years,
cause i know that no matter what you choose to do, ppl will comment and critiize it no matter what...
so as long as you are true to yourself and do what you feel is right...

Another thing out of this excise,
is that, when the words or phrases are repeated too long,
ppl will try to "act", which means trying to play an emotion, rather than just let the emotion play itself out...
they want to make it to be more interesting...
and that's the worst acting, lowest form of acting there is, playing an emotion, rather than feeling the emotion and then use it to drive the action...
cause "the reality of acting is in the doing itself", truly doing the action with emotion droven...

Then the teacher say that...
we need to be confident that,
just by sitting there, being yourself, is already interesting enough...
don't need to make up other stuff to be special...

I think it is so true in life...
i see ppl around be very afraid of silence...
or afraid they don't have anything to say...
so will make up lots of things to say... try to be funny...
will talk about other ppl, or putting ppl down...
try to show they are superior or smart...
but lots of time, it is just trash that comes out of the mouth...
don't you know that being silent is a message in itself?

It is this feeling of wanting to feel special, trying to get peoples' attention that often hurts people around you.