"I would rather participate in life than write a hundred stories." ~Thomas Mann
I hate to do shooting more and more now...
well...for events that is...
but cause ppl know that u know a bit about video shooting...
will push you to do it everytime...
and the most recent one is my aunt's funeral...hate it hate it....!!!!!
i already told my mom many times that i don't want to do it...
cause it is very weird to me...
having to shoot a dead person...and esp. one of my own relatives...
and what do i do when i see ppl crying in the funeral?
do i capture it too? like i do when i am doing a wedding?
and having to see the whole thing through the screen of the video camera...
it is as a third person's view...that i am not part of this event, like an outsider...
is like i am not existing in the same space...
i think funeral is a place where the person can be remembered and the family and relatives can let the sadness comes out...
and in a way, let the tears heal each other...
being this "outsider, i can't fully absorb the atomsphere...
was not able to grief and let my emotions out...
all i can think of is to observe the "audience"... what they are feeling...
what type of interactions they may have had in my aunt's life...
try to feel their sadness as a third person and think of what i can write about it...
HATE IT!!!!!!
5 comments:
if everything's under God's will or God allows sth to happen, there could be a reason. we will never know what it is until we see Him face to face, so what we can do is to make "educated guess" based on our knowledge about God.
If u have to be the "outsider" at that moment, maybe because funeral is not about being sad. If you aunt was here, what would she want u to be at that time? being sad or something else?
Pray for u brother (and i promise i wont' ask u to be my photographer if i have a wedding ^-^)
oh, another thought:
其實當在你參與這funeral的每一刻，你而是當中的一部份，只是有不同的角色，而你的自由就是選擇把自己看成一份子，或是outsider.
it's tough to be at that position, i know, but i'm just trying to make u feel better and have a new perspective to see this experience (i guess we learn positive thinking from Across, dont' we?).
I guess we can't really question God's will... as in Job's story...
who are we to question Him....
Thanks for the encouragment... i guess what it felt was more like a job that your take than being part of the family and let the tears and emotions out at the time...
That's why i hate to shoot weddings too... if it is your frds that's getting marry, can't really get into their happy moods...all u can think of is what shot to take and what position to go next and fighting for ur spot with all the other photographers...
我覺得我們可以去享受每一個角色~每個角色都有吾同既feeling,你可以去留意每一點其他人所忽略既野，係米？
我知道有好多角色係會覺得好難接受，但感樣先叫成長~~人生短短~嗯嗯~~做下不同既嘗試咯！！！！！
<_<''
ah...i got to disagree, eventhough this is almost a year ago, there is a different between 阿Q精神 and positive thinking, and questioning God is never simply "wrong", this is not a class that you can re-take, this is a life event that will never happen again
i rather empathize with your situation, being conscious to the "unconscious" effects of being behind a screen
don't rationalize it, go ahead and feel crappy about it
Post a Comment